Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith
At Better Life Action, we’re always on the lookout for books that not only inform but empower. Books that offer practical tools for building a calmer, clearer, more intentional life—books that feel like a trusted friend and a personal coach rolled into one. Dr Julie Smith’s Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? is exactly that.
A Sunday Times bestseller and a viral hit on social media, this book distils years of clinical experience into bite-sized, powerful insights that can make a real difference to your day-to-day mental health. Whether you’re facing anxiety, low mood, self-doubt, or simply the overwhelm of modern life, this book offers a toolkit of skills that can help you steady yourself and grow stronger—one action step at a time.
In this review, we’ll unpack what makes this book stand out, the core takeaways, and how it fits with our mission at Better Life Action to support positive, sustainable change in real lives.
Who Is Dr Julie Smith?
Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist with over a decade of experience in private practice. Her unique strength lies not just in her expertise, but in her ability to communicate complex psychological ideas with simplicity and compassion. You may have come across her short videos on TikTok or Instagram—concise, accessible mental health advice that’s resonated with millions. This book builds on that approach, offering something much deeper than social media can deliver, while retaining the same clarity and warmth.
What the Book Promises
As the title suggests, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? sets out to share the kind of practical, science-backed psychological advice that too often gets gatekept behind expensive therapy sessions or dense academic texts. Smith aims to give the reader tools they can use immediately—not just abstract theory.
And she delivers.
The book is divided into short chapters covering key areas of mental health: low mood, motivation, emotional pain, grief, fear, self-doubt, and building self-confidence. Each section stands on its own, so you can dip in and out as needed. It’s written with the understanding that when you’re struggling, you might not have the energy to read a whole chapter—let alone an entire book. That sensitivity alone makes this book feel unusually kind and accessible.
Key Themes and Takeaways
1. Mood Is Malleable—And That’s Empowering
One of the early takeaways is that low mood and difficult emotions are not fixed states; they’re signals, not stop signs. Smith encourages readers to adopt an experimental, proactive mindset when facing low mood. She introduces simple, evidence-based strategies such as behavioural activation (doing things even when you don’t feel like it), reframing thoughts, and setting achievable goals—all powerful tools for lifting your baseline mood.
💡 Better Life Action Insight: This aligns beautifully with our belief that small, repeated actions create big results over time. Your mood is not your identity—it’s a moment, and it can shift.
2. Managing Anxiety Isn’t About Eliminating It
Anxiety is not a sign of failure or weakness. In fact, it’s a normal, protective response—just often overactive in modern life. Dr Smith offers a range of tools for calming the nervous system and rewiring thought loops that fuel anxiety. From breathwork and grounding techniques to breaking catastrophic thinking cycles, the book equips you with a calm, science-based approach.
What stands out is her ability to normalise these experiences without minimising them. She reminds us that mental health is not about being “positive all the time”—it’s about resilience, not perfection.
3. Motivation Follows Action
One particularly powerful idea is that we often get the order wrong. We wait to feel motivated before taking action. But, as Dr Smith explains, action often creates motivation, not the other way around. Taking one small step—even when you don’t feel like it—can change your emotional state and build momentum.
This principle alone could change lives.
💡 Better Life Action Insight: This is a cornerstone of habit-building. If you’ve read our post on ‘How to Build a Morning Routine That Actually Works’, you’ll see the overlap: don’t wait for motivation. Just start.
4. Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism
The book places a strong emphasis on how we speak to ourselves. Harsh inner critics might feel like they’re pushing us to succeed, but they’re more likely to drain our energy and erode self-confidence. Dr Smith champions self-compassion as a high-performance mindset—not a soft option. Being kind to yourself, especially in failure, builds emotional strength and resilience over time.
She backs this up with research and strategies you can use in the moment, such as writing supportive self-talk or mentally rehearsing how you’d speak to a friend in the same situation.
5. Knowledge Is Power—But Practice Is Key
There are dozens of useful models and techniques in this book, from understanding the “emotional brain” to practising mindfulness and journaling through tough thoughts. But what makes this book practical rather than preachy is its insistence that learning is only the beginning.
Mental fitness is like physical fitness—it takes reps, consistency, and patience. Smith encourages you to keep showing up, keep applying the tools, and keep being curious about what works for you.
What Makes This Book Different?
- Digestible but Deep: You can read a few pages and get a valuable insight—ideal for people with busy minds and full schedules.
- Gentle but Honest: Dr Smith doesn’t sugar-coat the hard stuff. She respects the reader enough to be truthful, but she delivers that truth with care.
- No Pseudoscience: This is grounded in solid psychological research and clinical experience, not vague “wellness wisdom”.
- Truly Actionable: Every chapter offers exercises, questions, or frameworks you can apply straight away.
Who Should Read This Book?
Anyone who:
- Feels stuck, overwhelmed, or low, and wants a hand getting unstuck.
- Enjoys personal development but craves something more practical than just motivation quotes.
- Wants a mental health book that doesn’t assume prior knowledge or preach from a pedestal.
- Is dealing with burnout, grief, procrastination, or self-doubt.
Even if you’re feeling relatively fine, this book is still valuable. It teaches mental maintenance—how to build emotional strength before crisis hits.
Critiques (Fair Ones)
No book is perfect, and this one has a few minor limitations worth mentioning:
- Some experienced readers of psychology or therapy may find parts of the book cover familiar ground.
- A few chapters could benefit from deeper examples or case studies to illustrate more complex points.
- The tone is encouraging and optimistic throughout—but if you’re in the depths of a severe mental health crisis, this book is a helpful support, not a substitute for professional help.
Final Thoughts
Dr Julie Smith’s Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? is a rare gem in the self-help genre—clear, credible, compassionate, and full of real tools you can use. It’s a book to keep on your bedside table or in your bag, ready to offer support when you need it most.
It’s not about quick fixes. It’s about building strength, one small action at a time.
At Better Life Action, we believe in the power of everyday actions to shape your mindset, habits, and future. This book is 100% aligned with that philosophy—and we highly recommend it to anyone ready to take their next step toward emotional wellbeing.
Try This: 3 Quick Actions Inspired by the Book
- The 5-Minute Action Rule: Choose one task you’ve been putting off. Set a timer for five minutes. Just start. Action creates motivation.
- Talk to Yourself Like a Friend: The next time you catch yourself in harsh self-talk, pause. Ask: Would I say this to someone I love?
- Mood Diary: For one week, keep track of your daily mood and what influenced it. Notice patterns—and what lifts you.
